Judgment

I'm smiling
With that big full smile
I'm bouncy
I talk
I laugh
I'm standing in front of you
With that happy manner...
The one that I have...
That is unique to me

Everyone is telling me that
I look so happy
A happy puppy...
Yeah...
I look happy...
Or at least I try
But inside me
I'm nothing
I've faded long ago
The stars in my eyes are gone
My heart turned to stone
I'm cold inside

But people... judge
They judge without knowing...
I pass through so much in my life
That I lost my heart
So... I'm pretending to have emotions
Eventually... It become easier

They judge me
Pain
Horror
Sadness
Death
It stole you heart
And blackened your soul
I was empty

But now...
My soul is full
Rumors
Evil gaze
Comments
Cruel joke
Insults
They don't realise...
That it stays within me
Gnawing me by the inside
Carrying away the last part of me

Am I still alive ?
I hear my heart
But no emotions pass trought
Exepted...
Pain
Sadness
And sorrows

Maybe that's why I'm not able any more...
Not able to sustain
The reaction of people
I just want to make my own path
''Crazy'' path
'Cause they destroy my heart
And without one...
We can guide ourselves
So I'll be lost forever
In this sea of judging and comments

How can I survive this...?